Funny Food Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing

2. Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window?

To see a butterfly

3. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

4. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

5. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

The lettuce was "ahead," but the tomato was trying to "catch up."

6. Why shouldn't you tell a taco a secret?

They tend to spill the beans!

7. What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blue-berry

Funny Animal Jokes for Kids

8. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

9. What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

10. What do bees chew?

Bumble gum

11. Why does the crab never share?

Because it's shellfish (selfish)

12. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea! (no-eye 

13. What do you call a pair of monkeys who share an Amazon account?

Prime-mates

14. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

15. How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles

16. What do mice use to floss their teeth?

String cheese

17. Why are cats good at video games?

Because they have nine lives

18. Where do cows go for entertainment?

The moooooooooovies

19. Be careful when walking your dog...

...you might step in a Poo-dle.

20. What does a panda ghost like to eat?

Bam-BOO!

21. What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop

22. Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because she was a little horse (hoarse)

23. What did the frog order at McDonald's?

French flies and Diet Croak

24. What's black and white and red all over?

An embarrassed zebra

Funny Pop Culture Jokes for Kids

25. Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?

He prefers it on the dark side.

26. How does Taylor Swift dry her umbrella?

She shakes it off, shakes it off.

27. How does Princess Peach reach things on a high shelf?

She uses a Toad-stool.

28. Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

Because she runs away from the ball

29. Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald?

He lost his Hedwig.

30. Why shouldn't Elsa have a balloon?

Because she would let it go

31. Why are celebrities so cool?

They have many fans.

Funny School Jokes for Kids

32. What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?

Arrrrrrrrrrt

33. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity?

Totally shocked

34. Why did the dog do so well in school?

Because he was the teacher’s pet!

35. Why did the M&M go to school?

Because it wanted to be a Smartie!

36. Why is the math book sad?

It has a lot of problems.

37. Why does the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students are so bright

38. Why shouldn't you use a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless

39. Why did the boy throw a clock out the window at school?

To see time fly

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Crack 'em up with silly jokes for kids—the perfect all-ages dinner activity.

Funny Sports Jokes for Kids

40. In baseball, does it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or from 2nd to 3rd base?

2nd to 3 base, because there’s a shortstop in between

41. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

...then it hit me.

42. Why did the coach yell at the vending machine?

He wanted his quarter back. 

43. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

44. Where do sports teams go to buy new uniforms?

New Jersey

45. Why are basketball players messy eaters?

Because they are always dribbling!

46. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?

They needed a little team spirit.

More Funny Jokes for Kids

47. How do you throw a party on Mars?

You planet

48. Do you have holes in your underwear?

No...?

Then how do you put your legs through?

49. When is it time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty (2:30)

50. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They both got 6 months...

51. Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?

Because she was stuffed

52. How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it

53. What does a vampire take for a sore throat?

Coffin drops

54. What did one eye say to the other?

Between us, something smells.

55. What’s faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because everyone catches a cold

56. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8 (ate), 9.

57. What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye matey."

58. Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything

59. How do you learn to be a trash collector?

Just pick it up as you go along

60. What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?

It waves!

61. What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me.

62. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

About a buck an ear (buccaneer)

63. Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?

Because it didn't have the guts

64. Two boys are talking...

Boy 1: "Hey, bro."

Boy 2: "Yea, bro?"

Boy 1: "Could you hand me that pamphlet?"

Boy 2: "Brochure" (Bro, sure)

65. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers

66. What happens when you go to the bathroom in Germany?

European (You're a-peein'.)

67. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You wait here, I'll go on ahead.

68. How did the iPhone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

69. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

It’s a weak day. (weekday)

70. Why can’t your head be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

71. What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?

The space bar

72. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two-tired! (too tired)

73. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener

74. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y.

75. What did one toilet say to the other?

You look a bit flushed.